Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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