How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
