I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
