It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
