he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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