Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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