So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
