yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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