u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
