It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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