actually, I'm a sock model
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
