I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
