peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
