Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize