It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
