is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize