You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
