Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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