Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
