why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
