Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The uberlube is also flammable
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
