Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize