god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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