There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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