you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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