you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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