so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
