Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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