My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
