She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
