do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
