ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
