You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
