Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
