i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
