Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How does one acquire holy water?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize