remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
