My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
