Your tits are I can't wait for
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
