The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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