Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
