Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm at about main and main street
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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