Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
