just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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