i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
