Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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