Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize