I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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