im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
God, I missed his penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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