Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
