I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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