Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
