Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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