Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Even my vagina gasped.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize