We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
