I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
