Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
