ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
