im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
