he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
