it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
