Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
