Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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