omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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