So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
