Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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