It's Friday. Sex?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
