I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
