Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
