508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
