I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
