so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
