What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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