so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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